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Thursday, January 7, 2010

Engineering....the untold truth....

1. Some Basic definitions..

Engineering College : Place where you're punished for
getting good HSC marks.
Babe : After two years in Engineering, anything
remotely female qualifies
for that title...
Senior : Guy who got ragged as junior and wanna get
some payback...
Fresher : Guy who has to ask where the canteen is...
Really Dumb Fresher : Guy who asks a senior where the
canteen is.
Really Really Dumb fresher : Guy who follows the
senior to the canteen.
Ragging : The unfortunate fate of the previous idiot.
Evasive action : Watch the juniors when any seniors
come nearby. (No one
runs faster than a fresher. NO ONE.)
Lectures : Waste of time..physical presence is a
must...only meant for
sleeping, completing assignemtns & genral TP
Tutions : What you take when you don't waste enough
Professor : Person paid to put students to sleep.
Practicals : 60 to 90 minutes in which you watch the
girls do your
experiment,and usually destroy a
considerable array of lab equipment.
Hopeless Practical : The practical in which there are
no girls in your group
simply look blankly at each
other, fiddle with the equipment, and finally copy the
readings. from the
girls of course...).

2. The Truth about exams....
Timing...when ur non enginering GF/BF is free to enjoy
while u slog with
submisisons & exams
Irony : The guy who copied your entire paper passes
and you flunk.
Critical Calculation : Summing up the marks you
attempted worth in the
KT : Makes you suicidal..the WAY of life...
Year Drop : Makes dad homicidal.
Reverification : A cruel joke. (results of which come
after you give the KT

An engineer's 10 engg commandments of Life
1. Thou shalt study only during the preparatory leave.
2. Thou shalt never write thy assignments thyself.
3. Thou shalt begin writing thy journals only on the
morning of submission.
4. Thou shalt treat all marks above 40 as bonus.
5. Thou shalt have at least 70 per cent attendance in
the canteen.
6. Thou shalt pass GRACEfully.
7. Thou shalt always be an OUTstanding student.
8. Thou shalt give thy attendance without being
present...PROXY is a MUST
9. If thou can't convince them , confuse them.
10. Thou shalt start every sentence with a
four-lettered word.

4. The Years of Engineering
F.E. Fond of Engineering
S.E. Sick Of Engineering
T.E. Tired of Engineering
B.E. Balls to Engineering
is it worth it???

Engineers Anthem:
Hum Honge All Clear,Honge AllC lear, Honge All Clear
Ek Din, OH-HO, Mann me hai vishwas, pura hai vishwas,
hum hoge all clear ek din

Top two Engineering Rumors:
'Did you hear the results are being put up today at
'Did you hear the exams are postponed by two weeks,
its been put up at Notice Board'

The most dreaded acronym for Engineers:
ATKT ( After Trying Keep Trying)

The most important criteria while selecting an
engineering college:
Girl to Boy ratio ( if more than0 .025% then that
college is engineers dream
come true)

Engineers at work:
Assignments solved by one and then carrying out mass
transfer operations

throughout the class

The most important machine for Engineers:
Xerox Machine (Without which assignment completion
wouldn't be possible)

The most important table in an Engineer's House:
The glass table ( to carry out GT operations, during
Night Duty.)

The only queue an Engineer is familiar with:
Submission Queue

An Engineer's favourite watch:
Bird Watch !

Common Engineering Dialogues after a paper:
'What is this yaar, more than 70% of the paper was out
of the syllabus'
'This was the worst paper set in the entire
engineering history'
'I am failing....I got screwed royally'

Feeling after Completing Engineering:
Survived Engineering !!!!!!!!!!!

What you will learn in Engineering
· You can study hard and still fail
· You can not study and pass
· Multiple choice does not mean easy
· Earlier batches of engineers were lucky!
· Six exams can be written in 4 days, but it hurts
· You can skip all the classes, study for 15 minutes
before the final and
still do better than an arts
student in any arts class
· Pi to six decimal places
· Judging by my fellow students, engineers are either
drunks or geeks
· Everyone is someone else's wierdo
· Front Row people are wierd
· Those who can, do, those who can't, teach
· A 95.75% can be an A
· An 80.1% can be an A+
· You can kill your neighbors with a 9 volt battery


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