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Sunday, December 27, 2009

HR OFFICERS & ENGINEERS - 3 Real Life Stories...

The First …
Eleven people were dangling below a helicopter on a rope. There were ten HR people and one engineer.
Since the rope was not strong enough to hold all the eleven, they decided that one of them had to let go to save all the others.
They could not decide who should be the volunteer. Finally the engineer said he would let go of the rope since engineers are used to do everything for the company. They forsake their family, don’t claim all of their expenses and do a lot of overtime without getting anything in return.
When he finished his moving speech all the HR people began to clap…
Moral:
Never underestimate the powers of the engineer.

The Second …

A group of engineers and a group of HR people take a train to a conference. Each HR person holds a ticket. But the entire group of engineers has bought only one ticket for a single passenger. The HR people are just shaking their heads and are secretly pleased that the arrogant engineers will finally get what they deserve.
Suddenly one of the engineers calls out: “The conductor is coming!”. At once, all the engineers jump up and squeeze into one of the toilets. The conductor checks the tickets of the HR people. When he notices that the toilet is occupied he knocks on the door and says: “Ticket, please!” One of the engineers slides the single ticket under the doors and the conductor continues merrily on his round.
For the return trip the HR people decide to use the same trick. They buy only one ticket for the entire group but they are baffled as they realize that the engineers didn’t buy any tickets at all. After a while one of the engineers announces again: “The conductor is coming!” Immediately all the HR people race to a toilet and lock themselves in.
All the engineers leisurely walk to the other toilet. Before the last engineer enters the toilet, he knocks on the toilet occupied by the HR people and says: “Ticket, please!”

And the moral of the story? HR people like to use the methods of the engineers, but they don’t really understand them.

The Third …
Once upon a time three HR people were walking through the woods and suddenly they were standing in front of a huge, wild river. But they desperately had to get to the other side. But how, with such a raging torrent? The first HR guy knelt down and prayed to the Lord: “Lord, please give me the strength to cross this river! "

*pppppfffffffuuuuffffffff*

The Lord gave him long arms and strong legs. Now he could swim across the river. It took him about two hours and he almost drowned several times.

BUT… he was successful!

The second HR guy, who observed this, prayed to the Lord and said: “Lord, please give me the strength AND the necessary tools to cross this river!”

*pppppfffffffuuuuffffffff*

The Lord gave him a tub and he managed to cross the river despite the fact that the tub almost capsized a couple of times.

BUT… he was successful!

The third HR man who observed all this kneeled down and prayed: “Lord, please give me the strength, the means and the intelligence to cross this river!”

*pppppfffffffuuuuffffffff*

The Lord converted the HR man into an engineer. He took a quick glance on the map, walked a few meters upstream and crossed the bridge.

Moral? You have to be an engineer to think intelligent, Otherwise…
GOD HELP YOU !


Funny Names of IT companies

IT Company Full Names...just don't miss it.... :-

1. NIIT : Not Interested in IT

2. WIPRO : Weak Input, Poor & Rubbish Output

3. HCL : Hidden Costs & Losses

4. TCS : Totally Confusing Solutions

5. INFOSYS :Inferior Offline Systems

6. HUGHES : Highly Useless Graduates Hired for Eating and Sleeping

7. BAAN : Beggars Association and Nerds

8. IBM : Implicitly Boring Machines

9. SATYAM : Sad And Tired Yelling Away Madly

10. PARAM : Puzzled And Ridiculous Array of Microprocessors

11. C-DOT : Coffee During Office Timings

12. AT&T : All Troubles & Terrible

13. CMC : Coffee, Meals and Comfort

14. DEC : Drifting & Exhausted Computers

15. BFL : Brainwash First and Let them go

17. TISL : Totally Inconsistent Systems Ltd.

18. PSI : Peculiar Symptoms of India

19. ORACLE : On-line Romance And Chatting with Lady Employees.

20. PATNI: Pathetic Appraisal Techniques, No Increments.

21. MASTEK: Mad And Stupid Technitians Enroute to Kabaarkhana

Monday, December 21, 2009

Ants in Your Pants

Thursday, December 17, 2009

Men Can Do Anything

Rajasthani Folk Song Padharo Mhaare Des

Kesariya Balam Song

Home Remedies for SWINE FLU


SWINE FLU

Swine flu is spreading through out the world like a fire. It is a kind of respiratory disease that is caused by influenza type A virus. This virus is very similar to the bird flue virus and the main difference is that it is that this type of virus largely affects the pigs but, sometimes, can occur in people having close contact with pigs. Swine flu is infectious and communicable. It can easily spread from one to another through coughing and sneezing. It can affect people of all ages and can cause sore throat, chills, fever, body aches, headaches, etc.

Home Remedies for preventing Swine Flu
  • Only eat home cooked food to improve your bodily resistance
  • Avoid going to crowded places. In case of high necessity to go to such crowded places always cower your mouth with a mask and wear gloves.
  • Wash Your Hands with antiseptic solution: It is thought that swine flu virus can get into the inside of your body through the mouth and nose. Regular washing of your hands, particularly before a meal, with soap and warm water can prevent this. Alternately, you can also wear hand gloves before touching anything directly so as not to get infected.
  • Cover Your Nose and Mouth: If somebody is sneezing or coughing near you, you may want to cover your nose and mouth with the within of your palms or with your hanky. Alternately, you can wear face mask before going outside. These can prevent the virus to get entry into your system.
  • Giloy or amrita or tinospora – this is one of the most powerful home remedies that can prevent swine flu. Make tea of giloy or take it by mixing with triphala twice daily. It is highly recommended by Indian Yoga Guru Baba Ramdev.
  • Drink Lemon Balm Tea: Experts think that the anti-viral actions of lemon balm can treat swine flu. You can drink lemon balm tea two times a day.
  • Chew Fresh Garlic Cloves: Garlic or lasuna or garlic pearls is considered an effective antiviral. Fresh garlic cloves ( two to three ) can be chewed once everyday.
  • Steam Inhalation: It is also recommended that steam inhalation with eucalyptus or chamomile three times a day can relieve from jamming from the lungs. This can help in alleviating swine flu symptoms.




 

Warning: The reader of this article should exercise all precautionary measures while following instructions on the home remedies from this article. Avoid using any of these products if you are allergic to it. The responsibility lies with the reader and not with the site or the writer.
The service is provided as general information only, and should not be treated as a substitute for the medical advice of your own doctor.


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